Contemplations

What I've been thinking and what I've been reading for you to compare notes.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Jamie Bush's Testimony

[Jamie gave the following testimony recently at Pathway Church during a series Deb and I were co-teaching on relationships. She and her husband Thomas are actively involved in Pathway Church, dedicated to helping others find Christ and follow Him.]

I am overwhelmed and humbled by God's generosity and persistence.

Five years ago I was living with a man who was a drug addict, who physically punished me and belittled me daily.

My Aunt Sandy told me she worked with a guy named Thomas who was great, but also in a bad relationship...she was sure if we'd both free ourselves we would be so happy, BUT I was absolutely sure that I was worthless and that pain is what I deserved. EVERYone in my life tried to pull me away and help me, but I wouldn't listen.

God sent 3 friends and several family members to me telling me this would kill me if i didn't leave. I lost my house, my car, my job because I put this man in control of my life and he destroyed it. Finally, I was beaten and scared so much that I left, but when I didn't think I could live without that "love," I attempted suicide. I couldn't believe I survived. Why was God so cruel?

At that point, I really was mad at God. My dad was dead, my sister was dead, and i was absolutely alone. How did he let me go through this? I was a great person until I put all my "faith" in a horrible man.

What I didn't see, is that God had moved me to my mom's house to "recover" my life and be filled with love. God pulled me from that man because I wouldn't remove myself. God put me in court-ordered counseling and I began to realize I did have self worth.

I went to church with my Aunt Sandy from time to time and felt SO pulled to God that I still pushed him away because I wasn't ready to admit my failures. One Sunday I heard "Grace like rain" and it clicked....God did love me! God saved me from the fire I had put myself in! God did have a future for me! God already forgiven me for the horrible things I had yet to admit to him...

Wow...how does that sink in? Slowly...

I started working at the Neighborhood Thrift Store and slowly began dating again....met Pastor Brian and started coming to Pathway....still slipping up and not making great choices with dating, but I knew i wanted a Godly man.

THEN...

my same Aunt Sandy that had taken me to church, finally convinced me to go out with Thomas....

Meanwhile in Thomas' life: painful divorce, living with a woman who took advantage of him financially and emotionally...then he made her leave and went to church one Sunday in February 2007....Thomas asked God to take control of his life again and promised to change his life...

We met the next Friday...three days later I told my mom Thomas would be the man I married.

God worked with me and through me and never let go of my hand...while I thought he'd ignored me, it was me looking away. I am in awe and humbled that God can work such miracles. The peace and love I have with Thomas is a daily blessing, to breathe easier around someone and know they have your best interest at heart is such a love I never imagined, and through God's love and grace, it is a daily reality. What is more amazing...how much greater is the love God has for me? More than I can comprehend. I am not worthy, but I am grateful.

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